I was in my room
I was looking at the ceiling
But now I feel lost
I forget where I am
The cracks on the ceiling blurred
And my ears start to drown
In pain concentrated water
I heard people laughing outside my room
I felt warmth peeking from my window
But now I feel cold and alone
I close my eyes and try to focus
But it’s too late I’m losing my hold
I shiver and freeze as memories creep in
The light starts to flicker
And the past played without mercy
I was hoping for a tomorrow
I was hoping to live once more
But now I feel the world crumbles
Little by little the walls move closer
Voices in my head starts to scream
And once again my sanity left me
To fend off alone in this horror
I accepted a hand to help me
I could still hear my mom’s plea
But now I don’t remember anymore
Why I fought for another day
Is it for me? is it for them?
For a battle I can’t fight off?
Or for me to witness loss over and over?
For me to bear the pain for eternity?
To live the curse I was bestowed with?
I lost hope and regain them
I lose it all again
I stand up and move to the window
Watch people around me laughing
While I’m sinking deeper than deep
In darkness, In place I can’t breathe
Why did I choose to burden ones I love
When I can help them
By vanishing right here right now